Dear Slayer,
 
My girlfriend gets upset when I sing the Black Betty song. “Whoah Black Betty Bama ba bam! Whoa Black Betty wham Ba Lam!”  I tried explaining to her that it’s about a civil war era rifle but she doesn’t believe me. Instead she accuses me of wanting to have relations with a black girl, Betty or otherwise.
 
I love my girlfriend and I don’t want to lose her. I’ll admit that alot of black girls are hot but that is not why I sing the song. Please give us a reference that will settle this once and for all.
 
Mitch,
 
Brockton, MA

Well Mitch, I am sure black women all over the world are glad to have your “admission” the some of them are hot. They can all get on with their lives now.

The song Black Betty is purported to originally be about a flintlock rifle, later on it was a wagon and then later still, a woman.

As far as your girlfriends insecurity, tell her that her flat wonderbread butt does not compare to the double mocha mountain majesty possessed by so many Earth women.

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